


Drowning in a River of Denial

by AlliSter



Category: 11 Drunk Guys (Video Blogging RPF)
Genre: ABOP, M/M, Pwnagemcgee
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-14
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-20 07:45:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5997435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlliSter/pseuds/AlliSter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Alex had only ever kissed girls before."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drowning in a River of Denial

**Author's Note:**

> Title from: Damned if I Do Ya (Damned if I Don't)- All Time Low

“This movie fucking sucks!” Alex cried, getting his phone out of his pocket. This was his 2nd time seeing it, the first time not even getting through the whole movie.  
“C’mon it isn’t that bad, you’re just being a snob” Connor shot back at him. Alex rolls his eyes and turns his attention to his phone, scrolling through Twitter.  
“Alex!” Connor whined. “Put your phone down, we’re supposed to be watching this together.”  
“But it’s so predictable and totally unoriginal.”   
Connor made an over exaggerated sad face, begging Alex to put down his phone. Alex chuckled, that face almost convinced him to do so.  
“Whichever girl you’re texting can wait, there’s only,” Connor pauses and checks his watch, “20 minutes left.”  
“That’s so long! That isn’t persuading me to sit around and waste my time watching it.” Alex complained looking back to his phone. He wasn’t talking to any girls. Not romantically anyway. He sometimes wished he did, maybe then he’d be able to ignore his feelings.

“No, stop it!” Connor ordered, trying to grab Alex’s phone. Alex pulled it away and laughed.  
“Why’re you so obsessed with me?” Alex joked, putting his phone on the table next to the couch.   
“Why are you being so mean?” Connor pouted. god, he hated it when he did that. Connor’s pouting face could crack the meanest, cruelest person.   
“Why did you choose this movie?” Alex asked.  
“Because it was the only one I haven’t seen in this house” Connor exclaimed, the both of them trying to hold back their smiles.   
Alex shook his head and turned back to the screen, remembering how much he hated the movie. He let out a frustrated sigh and turned to grab his phone again.  
“Don’t you even dare!” Connor warned, turning around completely to face him.  
“You know what?” Alex raised his voice through laughs, “you can’t fucking control me Connor!” He spoke trying to be angry, but he just couldn’t. Not at Connor.

Connor leaned over him trying to reach for the phone while squishing Alex against the side of the couch. Alex couldn’t stop laughing and totally gave up trying to defend his phone. Connor took the phone and placed it on the coffee table before looking back at Alex.   
“Why are you so angry?” Connor asked.  
“Because I hate you and this movie!” Alex laughed. He didn’t realise until now how close he was to Connor, in a physical sense that is. They had both stopped watching the movie at this point. Alex gives a nervous chuckle, pulling his legs onto the couch holding them up against his chest with his arms. He looked at his knees, still smiling but he felt his heart rate begin to quicken as Connor moved in a little closer. Alex’s knees were touching Connor’s chest and he couldn’t recall ever being this nervous. To be fair, he couldn’t really recall anything. His gaze reverted back up to Connor’s soft stare, blushing at the thought that he was this close with Connor on a small blue couch. 

Connor grabbed the side of Alex’s face and kissed him. It took a second for Alex to reconfigure his thoughts, but he had already subconsciously kissed back. Alex resisted, moving his head away from the other, unsure of what he was feeling. Who was he kidding? He knew what he felt, he had always known.   
“It’s okay,” Connor whispered, something Alex had never heard from him.  
There’s so much going on inside his head. 19 years of repressing these feelings and they were all messing with his head all at once, he hadn’t noticed how much he was sweating and how quick his heart rate was. Connor kissed Alex again, this time, it was deeper and more passionate. Alex didn’t hold back this time. Connor’s hand moved from his jaw down to his neck and Alex’s hands were now resting on Connor’s hips. 

Connor’s beard was itchy on Alex’s face and his lips were powerful against his own. Alex began moving his hands up underneath Connor’s shirt, stopping his hands at the bottom of his ribcage. Thoughts were flooding through his head making it hard to concentrate on Connor or himself. Alex had no idea what he was doing and his legs got tangled up with Connor’s as he went to lie down. He was trying to follow Connor’s lead at least he seemed to know what he was doing. Alex felt Connor move his lips for a brief second and then he let out a soft moan as Connor began kissing his neck. He felt his face getting hot, did he really just moan? While thinking about how embarrassed he was, Alex let out another small moan. He felt Connor kissing down his neck, the kisses becoming rougher as he reached Alex’s collarbone. Alex had only ever kissed girls before. He had been the one to kiss their necks, but he had never known that it felt like this. Every noise he constructed made him grow more anxious and his face got progressively red.

Swiftly, Connor moved from his collarbones to where his jaw met his neck, and Alex made another noise, mainly because he wasn’t expecting it. What the fuck was wrong with him? Alex bit down hard on his bottom lip, trying to prevent himself from making any more unwanted noises. He felt Connor return to his lips and he was reminded of the taste of him. He had been drinking coffee but so had Alex and that was exactly what he tasted like. Alex felt Connor’s fingers lace through his hair as the kiss got more intense. Both of their mouths fumbled around with each other like two teenage lovers, not entirely used to each other and not entirely used to themselves. The two broke the kiss every so often to gasp for air, Alex thought it was nice to know that he wasn’t the only one out of breath from all of this. Connor grabbed a handful of Alex’s hair and pulled it lightly as one of Connor’s hands trailed down and stopped at the top of Alex’s jeans, tugging down on them slightly. Alex clicked back into being self-aware again and moved away.  
“S-stop.” He muttered, and Connor retreated looking confused. Alex pushed him off and stood up.  
“I’m sorry I can’t…” Alex spat out. The credits were rolling on the TV and all he could hear was the faint sound of the end credit’s song and his heart beating in his ears.  
“No I get it, it’s okay,” Connor said sincerely, going to stand up.   
“No, it’s fine… I- I’m going home.” Alex said abruptly before quickly walking out of Connor’s lounge room.

He didn’t know why. His mind was numb and his body was on autopilot. All he knew is somehow he made it to his car and he sat in the front seat not knowing what to do. Does he cry? That’s what he felt like doing. He starts the car and quickly pulls out of Connor’s driveway. Alex had left his phone on Connor’s coffee table but there was no way he was going back to get it. Not today. There were so many voices in his head but the voice that overpowered them all said only one word. One god forsaken word that he had been running away from for years. The logical voice in his head told him to pull over. He wasn’t in a great mental state to drive, but the obnoxious voice calling him what he was scared of the most made him keep driving. 

After driving for 10 minutes, not knowing where he was driving, the voices subsided and he was left alone in his car. He pulled over at the side of the road and stared at himself in the rear-view mirror. Alex’s green eyes staring right back at him.  
“You’re a gay son-of-a-bitch,” He said to himself. A half smile crept onto his face as he thought about that moment he had with Connor, now having the ability to think clearly about it.   
He needed to go back. He needed to get his phone off the coffee table. He needed to apologise.   
But most of all he needed Connor.

**Author's Note:**

> I FUCKING HATE THE WORD 'MOAN'
> 
>  
> 
> I'm so embarrassed. Alex 2 didn't deserve this.  
> I'm so sorry.


End file.
